Touching Trauma
Ketamine Session 5
Touching Trauma
Ketamine Session 5
Embedded Files
Ketamine Session 5
This session brought up fear and uncertainty through intense, violent/sexual imagery and a strong need to stay in control, with my protector stepping in repeatedly to block or contain what felt overwhelming. In the midst of the darkness, I also touched moments of softness and meaning- feeling tiny but safe in the infinite, sensing love and connection, and grappling with identity and abandonment fears. The biggest thread was learning how hard it is for me to let go, and how my system tries to keep me safe even when it feels sharp or restrictive.
This session brought up fear and uncertainty through intense, violent/sexual imagery and a strong need to stay in control, with my protector stepping in repeatedly to block or contain what felt overwhelming. In the midst of the darkness, I also touched moments of softness and meaning- feeling tiny but safe in the infinite, sensing love and connection, and grappling with identity and abandonment fears. The biggest thread was learning how hard it is for me to let go, and how my system tries to keep me safe even when it feels sharp or restrictive.
IM Dose: 20mg | Listened to: Space sounds
Intention: N/A
One of my most intense ketamine visuals - an incredibly traumatic memory put behind glass and repeating over and over while I could only listen and watch
Notes
Notes
I ended up coming back to a very traumatic moment at the end of the session with a protector part literally putting the moment behind glass. This was a very overwhelming moment, and I cried (a lot) after. I spent a lot of time working on the traumatic visual despite it causing a lot of intense emotions- it felt important to honor the work my body and mind did to contain such a critical memory and where it was stuck repeating itself.
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