Black room
Ketamine Maintenance Session 4
Black room
Ketamine Maintenance Session 4
Embedded Files
Ketamine Maintenance Session 4
This session felt like entering a deep, long-contained grief about my brother and other older wounds around worth, belonging, and not feeling safe to express sadness. I moved back in time as I cried throughout the duration of the session, grieving things from older and older periods. Even though the imagery was dark and sludgy, I also felt unusually grounded and internally supported—like I could let the grief move through me without losing myself in it.
This session felt like entering a deep, long-contained grief about my brother and other older wounds around worth, belonging, and not feeling safe to express sadness. I moved back in time as I cried throughout the duration of the session, grieving things from older and older periods. Even though the imagery was dark and sludgy, I also felt unusually grounded and internally supported—like I could let the grief move through me without losing myself in it.
IM Dose: 30mg | Listened to: Space sounds
Intention: Immense gratitude for the experience and help with transitions
This felt like it was below my stomach, and I entered a black room when proceeding.
Seeing this sludgey monster move away brought up feelings up profound, permanent loss. It was gone and I was never going to see it again.
In one of the black rooms this machine kept spinning and whirring in the corner.
From a room full of sludge this Ring-like lady emerged, but it wasn't scary.
Notes
Notes
Once it started my body just wanted to cry. I was able to let go and I just cried the whole time. I ended up choosing to vomit later in the session because there was a deep, heavy feeling below my stomach and it didn't feel better until I let everything out. I truly appreciate my body and this trip for letting me have such an intense session to feel my emotions, but this session rattled me for about 2 weeks, and made living the rest of my life a little hard during this period of being so "raw." We're going to try 25mg next time.
Deep blue seems to indicate grief and hard emotions in my trips.
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