Deep meditation
Ketamine Maintenance Session 1
Deep meditation
Ketamine Maintenance Session 1
Embedded Files
Ketamine Maintenance Session 1
This session felt less visual/dissociative and more like deep meditation. I worried I was wasting it or not going deep enough, but a major theme was that my system did not want to be forced open: needle hitting rock, a unicorn corkscrew refusing to penetrate deeper, and a sense of “not this time.” Alongside that, there was a lot of nurturing/mothering imagery — feathers brushing me, a warm presence, and a big voice saying everything is okay. Inner child material, shame around things I liked, grief after my brother's death, and feeling unable to be the person my parents wanted me to be. I also noticed a shift from wanting others to be proud of my healing toward asking what I want and whether I feel okay with myself.
This session felt less visual/dissociative and more like deep meditation. I worried I was wasting it or not going deep enough, but a major theme was that my system did not want to be forced open: needle hitting rock, a unicorn corkscrew refusing to penetrate deeper, and a sense of “not this time.” Alongside that, there was a lot of nurturing/mothering imagery — feathers brushing me, a warm presence, and a big voice saying everything is okay. Inner child material, shame around things I liked, grief after my brother's death, and feeling unable to be the person my parents wanted me to be. I also noticed a shift from wanting others to be proud of my healing toward asking what I want and whether I feel okay with myself.
IM Dose: 30mg | Listened to: Space sounds
Intention: Help me feel and work through what I’ve pushed down or avoided
Notes
Notes
For how dark the majority of the session was, I was surprised at how colorful some of visuals were at the start!
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