This space is dedicated to sharing my personal experiences with therapeutic ketamine (IM). Before starting my own journey, I had a lot of anxiety around the process and found great comfort in reading about others’ experiences. Every journey is unique, and I hope mine can provide you with some knowledge, comfort, or a feeling that you’re not alone in your experience.
Each session includes any artwork I've drawn based on the experience, alongside a brief note on how the session unfolded.
I ended up on the path to therapeutic ketamine after several life stressors compounded into a big mess all at once. Growing up, I learned that it felt unsafe to express most emotions other than happiness and to stay hypervigilant to any adult. I didn’t realize how much I was carrying at the time, but it shaped me into a lifelong people-pleaser that felt at fault for anything bad that happened around me.
Later in life, I experienced the loss of a close family member to suicide, along with multiple suicide attempts within my family over the following years. I didn’t know how to process that level of grief and uncertainty, and I was scared I’d fall behind in life if I slowed down to feel it, so I kept moving forward.
Eventually, that unprocessed anxiety and stress collided with severe burnout that took an unexpected physical toll on my body. I was diagnosed with complex PTSD, anxiety, and depression. At first, I tried traditional medications, but they made me feel worse. I ended up getting covered for a GeneSight test and saw that almost every SSRI and SNRI had significant negative side effects with my genes.
Ketamine stood out as a hopeful option because it seemed to offer something new; a way to help the brain’s ability to form new connections when other treatments haven’t helped. So far it's created space for things that I have ignored for the majority of my life; healing, processing, and self-compassion.